This realization should come as a huge relief for brand new parents. God has designed the system with you in mind.
How so? Babies are born immobile and SUPER cute. Think about it. You get the start out where they lie there and amaze you. They expand your world and change everything. The key is that they grow with you as you learn as a parent. It really is amazing when you stop to appreciate it. That helps offset the fact that you are entering into a brand new season of life. Even the birth of a new child is a new mini-season with all new dynamics. Babies starting small and growing slowly is a form of beautiful grace.
Even later in life once when you are much further down the path there is still so much grace. Children naturally posses so much capacity for grace and forgiveness. When you humble yourself, God uses them to communicate that we all mess up and love is always available.
So relax, take a breath, allow yourself some grace and just show up. You are not in this alone. These are God’s nuggets, you just get to take care of them and show them crazy love every day.
On a side note, this should make us appreciate even more those who sacrifice and serve by taking in those children in need of a family via any type of fostering or even mentor type situation. They don’t get the same opportunity to start from scratch. In place of this blank slate, I can only imagine God instead offers them a strong connection to the intense meaning and good they are doing in being a part of bringing His kingdom to this earth. And of course tons of Grace, Love and 24/7 support available to all of us all the time.
*** Update: Fair warning, they do eventually start asking about politics, tricky theology (“what is the Trinity?”) and tough topics (“Do you think global warming is real?”, “how old is the earth?”). All of those things you thought you had thought about, but really didn’t. How long you have until that point depends on the kiddo. You have been warned. : )
In the last book BT and I read, we learned how different cultures place a larger emphasis on letting a newborn child experience themselves/nature/etc, as opposed to the common mainstream American strategy of helping the child “achieve” more and more at a younger and younger age. Perhaps there is a parallel for parents, and we should (as you say) just “show up” and experience parenthood organically rather than stress about getting every little thing right. I love how it fits in with your idea that children and parents grow together.
Thanks for taking the time to write up your thoughts!
Love this! Thanks Derek.