So I know a lot of you have been curious about discipline. Those of you with little beautiful babies can’t imagine needing it, but these are little humans who are going to need you to train them on life… and of course life includes discipline…….. and as a parent you will find some phases need lots and lots of discipline.
I wanted to split this into a few posts to really emphasize key points.
DISCIPLINE KEY #1: Constant Vigilance
That may seem like a weird title for the first thing to focus on, but the rest of the items really do rest on it. Here is what I mean… our goal is to never, ever let anything slide. Ever. We are not perfect at it, but that is the goal.
I think we have all heard about how our brain picks up a habit after some set number of days enforcing it. Those of us who have tried to cut out a habit know how strong of a force they can be. This is the same type of principle with kiddos. The more quickly we catch behavior that is not in bounds with our nugget’s true selves the more we reinforce the good. Every time we miss it or “let it slide” the more we get the opposite. (notice here again… showing up and being there is SO much of the battle)
This will be hard on certain days. You will be tired. It is easy to get distracted. It takes time and energy to correct. But thinking about what I just said above you are really taking on “parenting debt” every time something slides by.
And this will come up. Kids are naturally wired to test boundaries. This is how they explore and understand the world. You will get plenty of chances to reinforce good behavior… trust me. But you can be successful. I can guarantee you that (4x guarantee).
Maximize the time you are there with them. Maximize the amount that you are present and attentive. <Warning: sensitive point coming> This is also one of many major reasons why I believe all parents should seriously seriously seriously consider homeschool and avoiding/limiting situations like daycare whenever possible (I do understand how big of a deal that is of course).
One final note: As kiddos get quite a bit bigger and can be reasoned with there may be times the Holy Spirit nudges you to let something off with a serious discussion and not the normal consequence. Notice however that this is not “letting it slide”. The negative behavior was addressed, but in this case God instructed Grace. You will be able to tell the difference between this and you just coping out because discipline is hard. This is again the very dynamic nature I see in true, God-inspired parenting.
So that is it… be there, don’t let anything slide.
More to come…