One of the couple of things that I would say still sticks with me from some of the more fundamentalist focused parenting teaching we received early in our faith journey was the following: “Discipline for willful disobedience, not childish behavior”.
I think this is a pretty good principle. Kiddos are not perfect. Don’t expect them to be. It is the heart and behavior that is not consistent with their true self that is what we are targeting.
If something is OK, always allow it. If you see something that is not OK, stop your nugget and explain that it is not allowed (therefore moving it into the obedience/disobedience realm going forward) and then always discipline on future instances. This reminds me of that related common Kelley saying I have mentioned before: “That was hilarious… now never, ever, ever do that again.” : )
Be fair and make that simple assessment… “was this willful disobedience”.
There are tricky cases you will have to wrestle with and this principle is not perfect, but this is certainly worth keeping in mind.