Recently I listened to the audiobook of “The Problem of Pain” by C.S. Lewis (one of my new “top favorite” books of all time).
Lewis does a fantastic job of explaining how he views a ton of the core tenants of Christianity (in detail, with brilliance and a cool British accent).
One of the many parts that stuck out to me was his discussion on free will and our primary function of turning our will towards His. (Side note: Interestingly enough, this same “primary function” came up multiple times across 3 different authors I have read recently). He described Adam and Eve, “paradisal man” in his words, as operating with free will, but having only the chief desire to please God, and having sufficient control over themselves, knowing no other desires, to achieve that will. Brace yourself for this next part… he then says that we are not in that state anymore, but are actually far far removed from it. (shocker, I know)
Our life then is this jagged line, trending to some degree or another, towards the realignment of our wills with His. Great picture.
Getting to my point (finally) here, I see this as a great picture of the goal of our parenting.
Whether kiddos young or old, this applies to your role as parenting.
Newest infants, you stand in the place of God showing love and warmth.
Tiny Tots, you add in the correction to avoid unsafe things. Eventually teaching “No” and providing consequences when their will starts to turn away in disobedience
Older kiddos, you add guidance and principles to make their own decisions on. You provide consequences and loving correction as they pursue their own will.
Teenage nuggets you help guide them as they determine what it means to be an adult (sort of) and realize they must make the right decisions and submit their will to God more and more on their own. You look for behaviors and traits that don’t match their “true selves” and you lovingly find a way to present them with the inconsistency we all struggle with.
Keep this picture of free-will and guidance in your mind. Love them enough to point them continually, at whatever age, to the only true Good this universe can offer. The source of all the good we enjoy daily… often so visible in the context of our families.