Parenting Nuggets

People are such creatures of habit.  If you really analyzed your waking day you would be shocked at how much of your day is directed from your auto-pilot.   You wouldn’t believe some of the studies that Psychologists have done to show this.

Our little nuggets are no different.  One day I will write on this concerning chores, but an application where this comes up very early in life for kiddos is bed time.   For new parents, I am going to level with you, this is going to be a challenging time for years.  One of the most important keys is consistency in bed time (as best you can) to ensure they are getting enough rest and turning bed time routine into a habit.

Try and start the routine at a time that allows a tiny bit of buffer to still get them down on time.  Look up how much sleep they should be getting and count backwards enough to fit everything in.  Make sure the overall routine provides enough time to wind down.  Try your best not to rush or stress as those vibes are incredibly contagious.  Try and be consistent with what activities you do each night (or when old enough let them choose between a couple options).  I would also try and avoid food and drink up to a couple hours before bed (likely nothing after dinner).

One really cool thing is that this is a time when you can instill a love a reading.  Kiddos that may be too busy during the day to read will jump at the opportunity if it means delaying bed time.  Next thing you know they will be coming to you asking to read all through the day (possibly even getting triggered by a natural tiredness or need for downtime).

The biggest thing is enjoy them.  Think of the mindset you want them to be in when you leave the room and work towards that as best you can (p.s. it won’t happen every night, but grace is always there).   Enjoy the ride.  : )

This realization should come as a huge relief for brand new parents.   God has designed the system with you in mind.

How so?  Babies are born immobile and SUPER cute.  Think about it.  You get the start out where they lie there and amaze you.  They expand your world and change everything.  The key is that they grow with you as you learn as a parent.  It really is amazing when you stop to appreciate it.   That helps offset the fact that you are entering into a brand new season of life.  Even the birth of a new child is a new mini-season with all new dynamics.  Babies starting small and growing slowly is a form of beautiful grace.

Even later in life once when you are much further down the path there is still so much grace.  Children naturally posses so much capacity for grace and forgiveness.   When you humble yourself, God uses them to communicate that we all mess up and love is always available.

So relax, take a breath, allow yourself some grace and just show up.  You are not in this alone.  These are God’s nuggets, you just get to take care of them and show them crazy love every day.

On a side note, this should make us appreciate even more those who sacrifice and serve by taking in those children in need of a family via any type of fostering or even mentor type situation.  They don’t get the same opportunity to start from scratch.  In place of this blank slate, I can only imagine God instead offers them a strong connection to the intense meaning and good they are doing in being a part of bringing His kingdom to this earth.  And of course tons of Grace, Love and 24/7 support available to all of us all the time.

*** Update:  Fair warning, they do eventually start asking about politics, tricky theology (“what is the Trinity?”) and tough topics (“Do you think global warming is real?”, “how old is the earth?”).  All of those things you thought you had thought about, but really didn’t.  How long you have until that point depends on the kiddo.  You have been warned.   : )

One of the main more important and practical aspects of parenting took me years to really grasp.  I am fascinated, now that I know to watch and pay attention, by big of a part energy levels play in overall parenting well-being with both the adults and nuggets.  It doesn’t take long as a parent before you realize that if we are honest with ourselves, even on the best days those moments right after you lay the last kiddo down for bedtime borders right on the brink of sacred.

There are a couple of main points to discuss when it comes to energy levels. First, monitoring and maximizing your energy level is crazy important.  It is not something you may be that aware of in daily life.  Some of you who work in a mentally, versus physically draining field get a taste of this.  Others may experience a similar thing after driving all day when on a trip (“wait, why I am so freaking tired?!).   But the constant activity level of kiddos takes this phenomenon to a whole new level.

When not surrounded by kiddos it is usually pretty easy to mentally check-out.  When you are single you do your own thing.  When first married, you can also easily take a mental siesta.  With mini-human beings that rely on you in different ways at different ages, but always at a high octane level, this is a much trickier thing.

Pray and stay alert when it comes to this with yourself.  Also important… be humble and realize your limitations (another reason God puts a focus humility in our current human condition).  Have in your arsenal a set of activities that allow you to recharge.  These can include quiet time, room time and the like for time apart (in a separate room).  There should also be activities like board games, reading or walks (or whatever works for you) where you are together, but doing something that you don’t find as mentally draining.  If a spouse or older child is available you can take a walk yourself.  The key is… realize your limitations and work within them.  And when you mess up in this apologize and explain that you were a major jerkwad because you were tired (in your own words of course… more on asking forgiveness from your nuggets in a future post).

Another nice aspect of being intentional about energy level monitoring is that by realizing the link between parenting awesomeness and energy level you can give your brain a sweet shot in the arm when it comes to exercising and eating right.  To me at least, wanting to be a better spouse/dad is far more motivating than “that is what you should do” or looking good in a swim suit.

The second major aspect of energy level is of course that of the nuggets themselves.  You can (should) have major grace with them when you realize you struggle big time at this and that they are mini-versions of you, but with a lot less training, developing self-control and no job.  The solution is also the same.  Monitor their energy level and have a grab bag of activities available.

One important note here, honestly TV is the easiest “activity” when you and/or the nuggets are tired.  However, associating TV with the trigger of tiredness can be a tough link to break (limiting screen time also to come in a later post).   Much better to identify times of the week when everyone is likely to be tired (e.g. Monday evening) and schedule an every week family movie night.  This way the trigger is time based, not tiredness based.

Bonus note 2:  You will be shocked when you pay attention to this just how big of an effect sleep/rest has on kiddos (future post on this as well).

SWEET!  First post down.